Do i really blog??? am i a blogger? what am i really blogging about at this late hour.. I should be in bed sleeping and instead am watching Family guy and laughing my ass off ..oh yeah... blogging apparently at the same time.
No seriously, i dont know what to write really but i started this draft hoping i will come up with some thing interesting to share with everyone. I hope they read it....
What is the most interesting thing i did today???? nothing really. Went to work and did some work as usual... nothing i did is interesting. My life has become so mechanical that it sounds ironic when i compare myself to a machine producing a spare part in a manufactring company... doing something for a company where my contribution is minimal to nothing.. hasnt done or had any impact on anything or anybody...
Today i was having coffee with one of my nicest friends and i get this weirdest thought and i asked my friend how do you think an Albanian born, Agnese Gonxhe Bojaxhiu, came from one part of the world, left the whole family behind and settles down in india... if you are wondering who i am talking about, you have to take deep look into your history papers. she is MOTHER THERESA my friends.
Anyways, i was wondering how did she leave everything she had and dedicated her life to something .. how can any one do something like that, cut themselves out of someones life and give it to someone else for 70 yrs just like that.
So my question to everyone is how can you just shut off something that is part of your life and do something that you dont know anything about???? well that is how i feel right now but its not that easy i know.
why is that we struggle all our lives to get good education and a good job and at then end of the day still not satisfied with what we have.. we try harder to get good job and then we are not satisfied..
may be we are not suppose to do that job.. may be we are just following everyone,trying to blend into the community.. is that what we are doing exactly?? blend in?? thats it.. i dont want to blend in and again i cant revolt and say i will do what i want and how i want and still be not bothered about what i have or have not...
Some say i should take risks in life. i wonder if thats what Mother Theresa thought when she left to india, that she is taking a risk, i doubt it. may be she did. i want to do something so i can look back after some yrs and say this is exactly what i wanted to do and thats what i did. no regrets no qualms, but at the rate that i spending my life and watching those years pass by i dont think i can even look back... even if i dare look back all i see is nothing. Donot ask me what i want to do... if i tell you what i want, you will tell me what i should do to get there and if only i can answer that question without knowing the answer for my question then i wouldnt be here talking about this, would i??
So coming back to my question.... How can someone just walk away/ cutoff from something they have and do something they are not really aware of?
Mind you... i dont need a job.... i have an excellent job and oh yea i get paid handsomely..
I am trying to find that path of light, enroute to my destiny.......
Some people inherently know what they want in life, as in the case of Mother Teresa. She knew what she wanted to do in life. She felt a calling and knew that was the path she had to follow regardless of what she was leaving behind. Her faith in something bigger than her gave her the strength to go forward; believing that God would take care of her. For others, making such decisions is a lot harder. We consider the prospect that the stakes are high even in mundane matters, for everything we do and say represents a choice. How we decide determines the shape of our lives and that scares us.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we are not strong as individuals as a result of upbringing or past experiences.
Maybe we were never given the support needed earlier on to build that sense of self esteem (which would empower you to take a chance) or self worth (which would allow you to do what is best for yourself as an individual because you deserve it).
What I can guess is, for sure, she might have not spent her time looking for the answerers, but might have just jumped into the action straight away and the time took her to the destiny... so, if we have it in us, then will not think much to do such things.. it just happens..
ReplyDeleteYou are lucky that you have come to a point to question the rut of life and realized that you are destined to do more important things than the mundane stuff that we all go through everyday. Many of them spend their whole lives and yet they do not know that they were just an insignificant statistic. In the broad sense everything is. It might help to think about it in terms of baby steps and little things that you can help rather than think about huge insurmountable tasks. Its been a long time since we chatted dude. give me a call some time.
ReplyDeleteThe above comment made me wonder 'bout how many people really are just going through life day to day and don't wonder if there's any meaning to what they are doing... if they are happy with where they are...
ReplyDeleteIf they dont wonder about that... does that mean that they are happy? or have they just not come to some crossroads in life where they'd ask themselves that question
u r a very good writer....I hope to see ur new blog soon!!!
ReplyDeleteAre you a real writer or these are your inner feelings??
ReplyDelete