How far would you go to keep a SECRET?

Good morning Fella's.... yeah yeah, i know it might not be morning when you read this but what to do, that’s when i started... i got up at 4 am.. very unusual of me... i am the last person to wake up at 4, i usually dont sleep till 3 am. old habits die hard you know.. anyways that’s a long story for some other time.. so i couldnt sleep, made me some tea and sat down surfing net, "The Usual"( how sad is it that life has become so mechanical), and its good exercise to put on some muscle(well I call it muscle, frnds call it weight). At that moment, i started writing this blog. It’s been a long time right and before I go any further, thank you to you all, who dare read my blog(S) and still appreciate it...
           If I can just say what’s on my mind it would be great, but we (at least I ) always hesitate to let it out. Worried what would anyone say? Is it ok if I say it? Well skepticism sometimes gets the best out of you and usually has adverse affects on you and most importantly for people around you, who care for you.
            I was watching this movie the other night "The Reader" and I insist you all watch that movie. We have a habit of keeping things to ourselves and I think it’s our ego that stops us and for some its embarrassment or fear and some like to analyze it too much. This movie unfolds, with a lady who is in her mid to late 30's and kid in his teens, having an affair for short while and they go their own ways or to be more precise disappears. After a few years, the kid comes across her and finds her in a very bizarre and messed up situation. He could have helped her but decides not to. She could have helped herself get out of that situation instead chooses not to. In both the cases, these individuals decide not to let the truth out which could have helped her get out of that situation. The truth that she hides is embarrassing for her but might sound silly to a person like me or you (truth is she can’t read or write). Don’t ask me how that would have helped her, please go watch that movie.. So tell me is it fair for anyone to go through so much pain and anguish to keep a secret?
           Everyone has had their share of secrets. Some embarrassing, some funny, some scary and some we can’t fathom how they end up as secrets in the first place. But we still keep them to ourselves. We deny that there is anything at all and live through it, at the end of the day we all know we lie to ourselves and to the people who care about us. May be that’s not the intension, maybe we like to share things and want to let it out but scared. We are scared of telling the truth. But how can we keep doing it again and again when we know it’s eating us inside out?...
             I for one, don’t know how can I jump over that hurdle and let it all out. I still ponder how I would do things differently if I had gone back. Oh yeah, there are many things I would have done differently. Maybe we learn somethings while we move forward and somethings we deserve. Does not matter what anyone says, we always hold onto things hoping things will change and everything will be fine. I know it’s not true, it’s not going to work. Fellas, from what life has taught me and what I have learned so far, here are few words of wisdom to you all. The more you keep it to yourself the distant you go from your loved ones. I am sure you all know this... maybe you’ve had your share of secrets or regrets that you would have done differently if you have a chance. But It’s too late isn’t it??? Anyways good day you guys or night .. whatever...